Fashion for me is about escapism, it's about fantasy and cross-identification. It's a space for play, and through it I can be anyone. It's quite funny actually, when I cycle through my etsy favourites I can almost trace the phases I go through - androgynous, edwardian dandy, 40s secretary, 50s bombshell, 90s grunge teen, 60s mod, lolita, victoriana, goth, metal kid. I'm pretty poor, so my actual etsy purchases are few and far between (I prefer car boot sales, jumble sales, charity shops, clothes swaps, vintage shops and so on), but it's a fantastic place to just imagine. AND a place where I can quite freely find most anything I want in my size. I like that few people say no on etsy.
Part of the glee I get from dressing up is from knowing that my refusal to be a "well dressed" fat person (knee skimming a line skirts, fitted clothes, covered arms, cleavage maximised and fat streamlines), and instead choosing to be inappropriate, garish, glamorous, to make my own mistakes rather than fit within this tiny tiny acceptable box.
Most importantly, perhaps, fashion is self-discovery for me. Without going into details, I feel like I've had some pretty rough patches and sometimes I feel as if I've lost sight of who I was to begin with. Playing with gender, genre, style and period allows me to engage with not only my personal history, but my lineage, my cultures, my heroes and my politics.
