Hello one and all! I bring exciting news. Over the past week, I've been helping to plan a fat clothes swap happening in Leeds - and after some doodling and planning last night, we have flyers and further information. The swap will be happening on 29th October upstairs at The Packhorse in Leeds (1-5). It's only £1/50p to get in, and we'll be donating any money we make to a local charity.
This is going to be a body positive event, with feminine and masculine clothing, open to people of any identity. Bring along any items you have to swap (we recommend 5, but bring more or less if you want) and swap them for things you do want! Yay!
You can find the facebook event here and feel free to email me with any questions about the event.
K x
Thursday, September 22
This week's been a hectic one for me. I'm approaching a busy time with work and blogging hasn't been at the forefront of my mind! I thought I'd post another post-swap outfit in the mean time. This is made up of a top and skirt both from the swap - the skirt I've owned before but sold on because I thought it was too short, but regretted later, so yay for having another one back in my life!
Dress and skirt, free through Fat Swap Shop Tights, Dorothy Perkins Shoes, Primark, £12
And another plug (sorry) - some more new eBay listings can be found here
More substance coming soon! K x
Sunday, September 18
Hey all! I'm back with another work outfit - I wore this on Friday, then out for some Greek grub with my lovely boyfriend (the memories of which are still making me salivate!). The skirt was another find at the Fat Swap Shop event last weekend. It's a high waisted pleated linen skirt, and I've worn it at least twice this week. It goes with everything!
Hey everyone! This weekend I had the privilege of going to a fat clothes swap, organised by Claire in London, and I thought I'd post one of the things I got, which is this grey tailored jacket. I love dressing up my jeans with a smarter blouse, and this jacket makes the look even smarter.
Jacket, free via Fat Swap Shop Blouse, M&S, £15 Jeans, Beth Ditto for Evans, £8 Loafers, Primark, £8
The event was fantastic, and it was a really affirming space for me (I'm hoping to get something similar happening in Leeds later this year) and a positive experience. I love clothes swaps, but normally don't find much in my size - it was great for this not to be an option! I love the ethos of clothes swapping, and particularly the difference between these environments and traditional high street environments. I feel that particularly in plus size spaces, we're marketed to in particular ways, which stress the importance of "flattering" shapes and disguising our fat (this dress your shape guide from Evans being a perfect example).
High street shopping isn't a particularly fun experience as a fatty - in shops which have a larger size ranges, the larger sizes often aren't in stores (HELLO DOROTHY PERKINS), or the plus size ranges are hidden in the darkest corner of the store, or even only available online. I find that most of the time I now shop online, and that's disappointing and expensive when you factor in postage costs. This is often why, when I go shopping in stores, I hit vintage shops and charity shops - I probably stand the same chance of finding something, but I'm not made to feel inferior by my size being hidden in a corner/not in store/only available online. Everything's together, and I find I have more fun rummaging.
Coming to events like this is both amazing for my wardrobe(!) and for my experience as a fat woman. Instead of constantly having to compromise, the experience is fun and empowering. It's great to see people laughing about clothes, and also being able to see something that doesn't fit one person suiting someone else so well. I consider myself very lucky to know so many awesome people, and to be able to partake in events like this! So thank you very much to Claire for organising, and I'll be posting with more bits and pieces I scored as the week goes on!
Friday, September 9
Okay, so apparently trying to get a good picture whilst packing (and without a chance to dry my hair even) and eating some semblance of breakfast does not give a good result. I present to you the obligatory blinking shot, with added carrier bags and broom. But hey, I'm fairly certain no one comes here for my sterling photographic skills anyhow.
I've been stealing my boyfriend's braces constantly recently, pairing them with high waisted skirts, circle skirts and for a more dapper look as per today. They add such a pinch of old school masculinity to an otherwise fairly everyday style.
Shirt, 50p, market stall Shorts, ASOS, £8 Braces, pinched from my boyfriend Tights, Evans (spot the holes? Time for a new shop I think) Loafers, £12, Primark
Thursday, September 8
Another outing for the polka dot pencil skirt today. I found this bateau neckline top in a draw whilst sorting out clothes for swapping this weekend - it's maybe my oldest charity shop find that still exists in my wardrobe! Everyone knows that I love a bateau, but it really does seem timeless for me.
In other news, I'm listing some bits and pieces on eBay over the next few weeks - you can find the bits and pieces here if interested.
So today I finally had my home connected to the internet again! Yay! After many a month without regular access, and with only weeks left at my current job this is a relief for many reasons!
I spent yesterday going through some holiday photographs from my month in the US in July. I was really happy to come back home (though I had an awesome time) to the grey/green landscapes that make me happy to be a Yorkshire resident again, but after a week of solid rain, winter-y temperatures and dark days, I am definitely missing summer (and the two weeks I spent in Southern California with my partner's family). I'll post a few outfits from the trip over the next week or so - here's the first. The dress was an impulse buy in Forever 21, not my usual style but the ruffles swayed me. The t-shirt was something I picked up from Rebecca in Portland, who helpfully let me rummage through some clothes she was giving away!
Hi again - hope everyone had a nice weekend. Mine was spent working (boo) and then roadtesting my birthday present from my father for this year - a very nice new sewing machine! I've been working with an ancient 70s machine since I started, and, whilst it served my purpose initially, it's proved inadequate as I've progressed onto dressmaking and more elaborate projects. My new machine is such a relief in comparison - no jams, easy threading, and it weighs about a fifth of the weight of my old model!
I spent yesterday catching up with some projects; altering some curtains, starting a new skirt project (well, nearly finishing actually!) and shortening this dress, which was a thrift store buy on my American travels. It was mid calf, and I took it up to knee length and sewed up the front (WHO invented the button up dress? I don't think I've ever owned one that hasn't popped open at every available opportunity). It's got the cutest sailor collar and a cinching back tie:
I'm still not absolutely happy with the fit, but it deserved it's first outing at least.
Dress, $5, thrifted
Loafers, £12, Primark
Friday, September 2
Here's my Friday for you. This top was a Primark score in the summer, and is my go to casual top for lazy days - I love teaming oversized tops with skinnies or mini skirts. I also dragged out my uber goth platforms - traded online earlier this year. You totally can't see their amazingness, but they're crazy embellished with a two inch black platform. I traded them initially out of nostalgia - these were my shoes of choice during my teenage years - but they're great to give an edge to an otherwise plain outfit.
Top, £6, Primark
Skirt, £3, Primark
Leggings, ASOS Curve (£17? I can never remember)
Shoes, traded, £free
Bag, £1.50, car boot sale
Also, some people kindly pointed out that my twitter link on the left was sending everyone to tumblr - I've changed this now, and you can follow me @shecametostay.
This dress is possibly my oldest and dearest vintage dress - the only one that's survived eBaying and wardrobe clearouts, and numerous seam breaks and repair jobs. It's a 50s sundress that I treated myself to towards the end of my undergraduate degree - the floral pattern and sweetheart neckline were definitely too much to resist at the time. Sadly summer dresses seem hard to wear in a British summer, but nonetheless it remains dear to me.
Hi everyone! The super fantastic We Love Colours offered to send me a pair of tights recently - and being in my stripes obsessed phase I decided to go for these bold ones in black and white. I have trouble finding tights every year, because I'm both tall and fat, and most of the options on the UK high street (bar M&S, who I am now devoutly loyal to!) are hopelessly bad quality. I've always wanted to buy from We Love Colours, but as they're US based the shipping has always held me back. The quality of these is great for me though, and I'm looking forward to clashing them with many different patterns this winter.
Low-fat t-shirt, $7, vintage
Polka dot pencil skirt, £12, Dorothy Perkins
Tights, courtesy of We Love Colours
Shoes, Primark, £12
Okay, so bare legs and a mini skirt were probably a little too optimistic for the grey and unseasonably cold that we are experiencing right now, but I am unwilling to resort to tights again. This outfit (and parallels) is a weekend staple for me. I don't think I will ever grow out of my band tees and mini-skirts - chipped nail polish a definite nostalgic accessory for my obsessive music nerd days (though a week spent re-organising my records has definitely reignited this!).
Pixies tee, £1, TRAID sale (a staple shop from my London uni days), knotted
Velvet mini, £3, Primark
Jacket, old vintage stock
Purple loafers, Primark, £12
I'm having a wardrobe cleanse at the moment, sorting out clothes that no longer fit me as I wish, picking some pieces to take to the Fat Swap Shop that Claire is organising on the 10th of September, and picking some others to sell. I created a sales blog a few months back, intending to sell some pieces before I moved away from Brighton, but am only just getting round to updating it properly. It can be found here for anyone interested. There are a few bits up there now, and more will come this week.
Shipping is £3 for the first item (within the UK), then £1 extra for each additional item. European and other international buyers should contact me via email at fattyunbound@gmail.com for a more specific quote.
If anyone would like to buy something, comment on a post with your paypal email address and the items you would like to buy, and I will send you an itemised invoice. Once payment has cleared I can post within a couple of days.
Friday, August 26
Here's my work outfit for the day for you all. These shorts have proved perfect for the casual offices I work in - comfortable and versatile too. The top was bought on a trip to Edinburgh about a year ago, and is a great 60s tunic style.
Top, £16, Armstrong's vintage
Shorts, £9 Asos sale
Tights, m&s
Shoes, primark, £12 (in stores)
Right, I wanted to talk a little more in depth about the BBC3 show and some of the responses I’ve had. The experience has been completely overwhelming, and the stories I’ve heard have made me feel such a mixed bag of emotions – anger, sadness, but also joy and delight at the amount of people who’ve started thinking differently about their bodies. All I can say is that (as if I didn’t know this already) there are a hell of a lot of strong, amazing people out there who put up with bullying, abuse, harassment and physical violence because of their bodies and their identities, and that I admire all of you and that you do NOT deserve that. It’s not your body that makes it hard to be fat – it’s the treatment you face from outside society. This treatment is legitimised by institutions, media and generally oppressive attitudes, and we’re made to believe that it’s okay, but it’s not!
I’m trying to get through all my emails at the moment, but without regular net access and a full time job it may be a while before I can reply to everyone! I will do so, though. What I wanted to do is post with a few resources and recommendations to help people who are interested in finding out more about body acceptance. Also, if you have any other questions for me, feel free to post them here and I will get back to them as soon as is possible.
Some notes, strategies and advice for you all:
1.Don’t be afraid of your emotions. There’s a lot of pressure in the body activism movement to be strong and powerful, but if someone hurts you by saying something and you need to cry about it, find a spot where you can and DO (I’m strong, and I cry A LOT). I feel like, as fat people, we’re expected not to react to comments and abuse – we’re not supposed to talk about those situations, or express the emotions they trigger in us. Talking about them and expressing them helps – not only to make other people aware of what we face on a daily basis, but also to help work through our own feelings.
2.On a related note, if someone makes you sad or angry, DO SOMETHING WITH THAT EMOTION. Crying is really cathartic and I often find that my best ideas come out of those moments when I am full of angry sadness. I started this blog part out of wanting to talk about clothes and fatshion strategies for other thrifty types, and partly because I got shouted at a lot, and I wanted to talk about how that felt and share experiences. Society expects us to be ashamed and silent, bent on being as invisible as possible. I don’t believe that’s right, and so I blog about my experiences, I show pictures of myself to a wider audience and I follow and comment on other people’s blogs. Write a zine, make a piece of art, blog, write a song, wear a bright dress, form an activist group with other local misfits, tell someone you know that they’re awesome, or find any way to express pride for your body and for other people’s. It doesn’t have to be a big step, or take up lots of time – it can be any step to show solidarity and care for others who experience hatred or oppression because of their bodies or identities.
3.Try and counter any negativity you face with self-care or positive strategies. Every time someone shouts at you, make sure you do something afterwards that makes you feel good in your body. We’re taught to learn to view our bodies from a distance, as a disassociated part of ourselves, so we can focus on what is presented as an essential need for self improvement. Part of accepting my body was learning to do new things in it – things I’d been taught that I couldn’t do as a fat person – and appreciating my body in those things. For me, self care is wearing clothes I feel good in, going for a swim, cycling, cooking, walking, making music and so on. It might be dancing or singing, competitive sports, yoga, baking, sex, beauty treatments, crafting, anything at all really.
4.Read body positive literature. I used to read fashion magazines obsessively, now instead I read blogs and magazines like Bust – they’re much more diverse (though they could definitely be more so!) and engage with politics I align myself with. I also read tumblrs, zines, books and listen to podcasts.
5.Talk about FAT. Say the word fat out loud, lots, to describe your body (if you’re fat, anyway!). Fat, in itself, is not an insulting term – it just has negative implications because fat = evil monster of death in society’s eyes. Fat is just a descriptive word ultimately, and the more we say it, the more the power of it is taken away from those who oppress people with it.
6.Redefine the way you speak about your body in general. Find words to describe yourself that you like, and reclaim some that have negative implications. Words I like that maybe have horrible implications to some people include chunky, big bums, thunder thighs, tree trunk legs and so on. These words are strong in themselves – we’ve been taught to hate them because they’re what we are not supposed to be – but I think they’re powerful and reflect being a big and strong woman. Find a new vocabulary, and try to describe your body differently when you look in a mirror.
All of the blogs I read are shown on the sidebar here as well – there are amazing fat fashion blogs, feminist blogs and more general fashion blogs. I would recommend them all heartily!
And books that anyone should own:
Linda Bacon: Health at Every Size
Marilyn Wann: Fat! So?
Kate Harding and Marianne Kirby - Lessons From The Fatosphere: How to Quit Dieting and Declare a Truce With Your Body
Charlotte Cooper - Fat and Proud: Politics of Size
Thursday, August 25
Well, last night I allowed myself a whole evening away from my iPhone! Suffice to say we've been glued together these past few days, but a rest and a curry from my local has definitely worked a treat!
This dress was thrifted from the same place my trousers were from yesterday, it's a size medium but stretches well for my not so medium tush! I love it's folksy vibe, and the colour definitely helps on a rainy day like today!
Here's a slightly more every day outfit for you all today. I picked up these tweed cropped trousers from a goodwill in Portland over the summer. They're a modern brand, but the pattern, high waist and pleats make them feel very 60s to me! In an attempt to channel some Audrey I wore them simply with a blouse and loafers.
Trousers, thrifted, $7
blouse, fatshionista sales post, £8.50
Loafers, £12, primark (in store currently and well made for primark!)
Belt, old vintage stock
I can't believe I've forgotten to post this! There's going to be an amaze-balls clothes swap happening in London-town soon - it's an all sizes event organised by the truly wonderful Claire of Monkey Fatshionista on the 10th September. It's going to be held at the Hoop and Grapes in Farringdon, and I am desperately hoping to be there (I've started working Saturdays and still waiting for my rota). In any case, I'm sure there will be some amazing clothes there (especially as Simply Be are donating some bits!). You can find out more information on facebook here or you can go check out Claire's blog for more details.
On another note, I'd love to do something similar in Leeds (where I am now living!), and if anyone fancies helping to organise or forming a badass fatty collective locally then you know where to find me. K x
Hi everyone! Firstly, last night I got featured on a programme on bbc3 (Cherry Healey on body image) - it is available on iplayer if anyone wants to watch but missed it the first time round.
Secondly, hello to all my new followers! I'm completely overwhelmed by the response to the show, and the amount of people who identified with me. I've had a lot of emails and comments which I will get back to individually! I don't have a regular Internet connection right now, so it may be a while before I can catch up, but I will do my best. But seriously, you're all amazing and I got a little teary about it all last night. I'm going to try and put together a list of resources for fat acceptance as well, for those who've just discovered it!
And lastly, here's an outfit for you. I got my first pay cheque for my new job last week, and had a little splurge in primark to celebrate! This dress is a maxi trapeze style, and I loved how bold the stripes were. It's more expensive than primark normally is, but the quality is good. It's a size 20 but really generous (it also has lots of room in the armholes for others with big upper arms) so worth checking out if you're a larger size. I also got some loafers and more striped stuff - somewhat of an obsession beginning I fear!
I dressed it smartly for work (I work somewhere without a dress code but I liked how it worked with a blazer anyhow.
I also wore my latest car boot find - a metal doggy pin! Everyone who knows me is aware of my dog-sickness, and I couldn't pass it up at £3. Look!
K xx
Monday, August 8
Hello again! I'm back from America now, though with a broken camera and no Internet, so for the time being reliant on mobile blogging. It's my first day at a new job today, and I treated myself to this jersey shift from Dorothy Perkins to celebrate! I'm a great fan of jersey tailoring for office jobs - it's so comfortable and still smart enough for office wear.
Hello one and all! I bring exciting news. Over the past week, I've been helping to plan a fat clothes swap happening in Leeds - and after some doodling and planning last night, we have flyers and further information. The swap will be happening on 29th October upstairs at The Packhorse in Leeds (1-5). It's only £1/50p to get in, and we'll be donating any money we make to a local charity.
