I'm sorry about the lack of outfits these past few days. I'm beginning to pack and, in all truth, have spent more time in pajamas than anything else! But rest assured, some to come. Yesterday I scored an amazing assymetrical black dress and floral jumpsuit from River Island and I'm dying to show them off! There's tons of large fitting/stretchy items in there at the minute - so definitely worth a rummage if you're a size 20+.
Anyway, the reason I came to post here is because I've discovered that several of my images have been favourited by BBW image collectors. Earlier this week I discovered a picture of me in a jumpsuit in a flickr gallery devoted to "MILF's". Several days later, two images of me were favourited by someone who obviously collects images of BBW in er, compromising positions. I also had another message from someone asking er, kind of inappropriate questions.
Now I've always had negative feelings re: the whole BBW/fat admirer scene, and this has only made them more so. Now, to stress, my issue is not with people finding fat people sexy (hell, I'd have to have an issue with myself in that case!! And er, not to mention most of those who fancy me...), but rather the re-appropriation of a fat body in this scene. Or my body, I guess. I've always felt that my body is taken out of my hands by BBW chasers. My body comes to symbolise anything they desire - mother (this happens constantly. I'M NOT A MATRIARCH buddy.), teddy bear, infantile, or alternatively whore, rolls of flesh and.. er MILF apparently?! To me, the fetishisation of fat in a lot of these cases objectifies the fat body in a similar way to the headless fatties of the obesity epidemic. We are nothing but lumps of flesh, rolls, often decapitated or fragmented. Fat is still symbolic here, rather than simply being a physical trait - it's just a symbol of a pre-determined sexuality instead of a pre-determined health risk. The point being that our sexuality is not self-determined but rather appropriated by anonymous agencies.
I'm not anti-porn, and I'm certainly not against fellow fatties being seen sexually. Hell, I'd like to see more of it, but only when sexual expression is self-determined. The point being that my sexuality is my own. My body could be any of these things. However, it's for me to decide who I am and what my body represents, and not an anonymous wanking man on the internet. I post my photographs in a public space for me, and for other people just like me who NEED to see similar bodies to their own on the internet, without stigma. I enter my body into a public forum because I want to identify with other people. And I really don't appreciate someone taking a photograph intended for this purpose (without my permission) and reappropriating it in this way.